Funny One Liners

1. How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it....with a thought!
2. How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots.
3. Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar.
4. Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory...she threw out all of the W's.
5. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday.
6. What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor.
7. Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages.
8. What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted.
9. Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for Toes G o In First.
10. How many blondes does it take to change a tire .... 5--2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.
11. How do you give a blonde a brain transplant .... blow in her ear.
12. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common .... they're both empty from the neck up.
13. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear .... thanks for the refill.
14. What's the mating call of a brunette .... Is that darn blonde gone yet?
15. Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink .... that's where you wash vegetables.
16. How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle .... shine a light in her ear.
17. What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in handicapped zones.
18. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you .... pull the pin and throw it back.
19. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall .... to see what was on the other side.
20. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb .... 6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the bulb.
21. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb .... two .... one to hold the diet pepsi and one to call daaaady.
22. The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went .... it finally dawned on her.
23. Brunette to the blonde .... Awww, look at the dead birdie .... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"?
24. How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer .... there is "white-out" all over the screen.
25. How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer .... there's writing on the "white-out".
26. Why do blondes wear ear muffs? .... to avoid the draft.
27. What did the blonde visiting O.J. think this was .... spilled finger nail polish.
28. What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her ears .... trying to hold on to a thought.
29. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? .... because it said "concentrate".